To read That Talky Laughy Random Fing from the beginning, click here.
To read the last episode, click here.
THE STORY SO FAR: Howard Richy falls in love with the… Erm… fit Linda Maizen. James Mattinson has a throat condition, possibly caused by moaning too much, but… Linda turns out to be a cow and she storms out. James lets slip about Friday’s upcoming court case with Lee Martin and she also storms out, so James kindly takes her to the chip shop…
FRIDAY EIFFLE – 1.2
It hit me as soon as I opened the door. His annoying, arrogent, cocky tones could not be mistaken as anything else. I almost smiled. Smiled! Can you believe it! I couldn’t deny he was funny, though. If I did then I was admitting I’d wasted a year of my life on the audio-high that was Lee Martin, which was true.
James hadn’t noticed and was already talking to Mr Kay, the owner, about the week. I tried to distract myself. There was a TV on the wall playing football reruns. I tried to work out what the teams were. Red. That was United. Or Liverpool? Yellow. Who played in yellow?
I couldn’t push the sound of his voice out of my head. The radio was on the counter. I could easily switch it off.
Mr Kay was looking at me now, talking to me, but I couldn’t hear him over Mr Martin. It wasn’t loud, but his voice echoed in my head.
I had to say something.
“Five awards.” I said, forcing a grin.
The radio show jingle came on and James finally heard it.
“Oh, Friday, I didn’t know.” he said.
I was ok, now. The adverts were on and I knew from hours of concentrated listening that they would be on for a while.
“It’s fine,” I insisted, “Good evening, Mr Kay.”
“Good evening, Friday,” Mr Kay said slowly, “Are you ok?”
“Couldn’t be better.” I smiled, “How’s Will?”
“He’s great,” Mr Kay said, nodding towards the radio, “Got his diploma in radio engineering, but Lee’s keeping him in his place.”
I smiled. It wasn’t forced. “I bet he is.”
Will, Mr Kay’s son and Mr Martin’s co-host was forever under Mr Martin’s torment. What was I supposed to do? Claim I hadn’t enjoyed it? I wouldn’t lie.
“Anyway, usual, please.” James said quickly, “We’re not actually supposed to be here. The show’s on air now.”
“But we needed chips.” I added.
Mr Kay grinned and winked at me. I laughed.
Adam Witz (@adam81witz) has sent you a direct message on Twitter?
“Guess what! I’m back home 11 tommorow night! That’s if the plane isn’t delayed, or taken over by terrorists. Knowing my luck it will be!”
@FridayEiffle: Really? Don’t joke about those things.
@adam81witz: I wasn’t. These things always happen to me. Hey, don’t tell anyone. I don’t want any press.
@FridayEiffle: Like you get press anyway. Can I tell James?
@adam81witz: Believe me. The press is gonna want this story. Yeah, you can tell Mattinson. But make him promise not to tell anyone.
@FridayEiffle: I need to talk to you when you get back. So don’t go picking any fights with terrorists, ok?