That Talky Laughy Random Fing Episode7

To read That Talky Laughy Random Fing from the beginning, click here.

To read the last episode, click here.

THE STORY SO FAR: Howard Richy falls in love with the… Erm… fit Linda Maizen. James Mattinson has a throat condition, possibly caused by moaning too much, but… Linda turns out to be a cow and she storms out. James lets slip about Friday’s upcoming court case with Lee Martin and she also storms out, so James kindly takes her to the chip shop. The ever so brilliant Adam Witz is on his way home, which is vital to Friday’s plan…

Note from the author: You have to understand, I first wrote this in my notebook, by hand, and the formating is way easier than typing it up on my phone. This is the best I can do.


Hi, Cathy. It’s Friday.
Friday? Erm, I’m not actually supposed to be talking to you.
Yeah, but you are.
Friday… look…
Cathy, I’m guessing your dad heard about James then?
Heard? Friday, that guy announced it on live television. It’s all over the news.
Yeah, that wasn’t James’ fault. A lot’s going on at the moment. And Howard’s a nightmare as it is.
How did he even find out?
I dunno. Howard has his ways. Cathy, is your dad there?
Friday, I don’t think…
Oh, come on, Cathy. I can’t make it any worse.
Well, you can.
Please, Cathy. I promise I will do my amazing bestist to be amazing.
Fine, Friday, but be careful…
I will

Friday glanced up at James and grinned. James smiled feebly back.
Hello, Mr Soccorso.
Who is this?
My name is Friday Eiffle. I’m a friend of Cathy’s. I was at the wedding. I asked where you were but there was no answer.
Friday Eiffle? How do you know Cathy?
Research. I’m a writer. Cathy helped me with one of my stories.
Friday Eiffle? You’re a friend of that Mattinson, aren’t you?
Through Cathy, yeah.
Why have I never heard of you before?
You probably have, you just don’t remember. Friday’s not one of those names you remember.
Actually, I think it’s exactly one of those names I’d remember.
I suppose. I’ve never really thought of it like that.
Didn’t you ever realise it’s one of the strangest names in the world.
Well, no. My parents weren’t very good with names. There was always a reason the name they picked was bad.
Erm, Friday?
Do you want to know what was weird about Cathy?
What’s weird about my Cathy?
Not your Cathy. About the name Cathy?
Oh, well, actually…
It means pure and comes from Greece. But, anyway, Cathy was my granma’s cat’s name.
And it would be weird now, wouldn’t it
Because my name would be Cathy and your daughter’s name would be Cathy too. We’d be having a conversation about the name Cathy and then we’d start talking about Cathy and then we wouldn’t know where one conversation ended and the other began, would we?
Well, that would be a bit confussing.
Yeah. Does Cathy like the name?
Yeah, I suppose.
Do you know what the name Freddy means?
No, what does it mean?
Don’t know. I know what the name James means, though.
Go on then.
It means ‘supplanter’.
Supplanter, that means someone who illegally takes the land off of someone else.
That’s not very good, is it. I suppose it could mean him taking Cathy from you.
It could.
Well, it depends how how many times he wrongfully takes something. Because if it’s only once then it’s not Cathy because he already stole the music industry from Adam. He’s my other friend. He was in jail in some country no one’s heard of, but he’s coming back soon.
And he can’t have stolen Cathy, anyway, can he?
Why not?
Because they’ve been married for, like, two months now and Cathy’s still living with you and she’s not run off with James.
I suppose.
Is James with you now?
No, he ran off when I told you what supplanter means. I think he’s gone to be sick. He’s scared off you. He thinks you’re going to kill him.
He should be so lucky. No, Friday, I’d like to meet him.
That would be a good idea.
Can I make an agreement with you?
Tommorow, at half four, in Avon Cue, you know th place?
Yeah. Are you paying or am I? It’s expensive.
I’ll pay, don’t worry. I’ll bring Cathy. You bring James. I’ll bring no one else. Ok?
Yeah, that’s cool.
Friday… what’s your second name?
Ok, Friday Eiffle. Tommorow at half four. Don’t be late.

Friday hung up the phone and smiled, satisfied with her work. Now there was only one other person she needed to sort out.


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