Luke Ferrish

This was from May 2011 again. This one was Coventry Inspires Writing wish was a brilliant competition and I think this one was actually quite a good one but again, it didn’t win. We had 250 words to complete this story -:

“There were a load of signs that should have made us suspicious about Luke Ferrish. Right from the day he arrived at school. The strange blackness of his eyes, the fact that he didn’t seem to care about anything, didn’t even try to make friends. There was a sneer in the way he watched us and when Carly told him he was in her seat he just stared but never moved. And when she collapsed at lunchtime with some kind of asthma attack even though she didn’t have asthma, we didn’t connect it with him. Well, you just don’t expect that, do you?

“We should have noticed he had no shadow, though. Mind you, if we had, we’d have thought he was a vampire – after all, we knew a lot about them. But Luke Ferrish was no vampire.”

And this was my entry:

The school was already full to bursting with weird insane kids. One more kid wasn’t going to make any difference, or that’s what the governors thought. Because we weren’t normal. We saw things, like the vampires. And if we had notices Luke’s shadow and gone running to the governors they wouldn’t have believes us.

I think Luke knew that.

He wasn’t a brainless attacker like the papers made out. He was clever. He took his victims with a well practiced manner that I still don’t quite understand. I understand why. The working behind the action steps was quite ingenious. I just didn’t quite understand how.

He picked his victims by two means. First, attendance. The pupils with the least attendance were the easiest to go unnoticed, I presumed. The second variable was how popular a student was. This one, I guessed, was due to social life. If I’m honest I’m sure there was a better way to do that one. Say a girl only has only one friend, they still have one friend. But that was how Luke did it. The least popular with the lowest attendance went first.

And then he’d make them ill. I don’t know how but he did. And no one would suspect anything because they were ill. And that’s when he’s do it. He never killed them exactly. He took their soul.

See, Luke wasn’t normal. He was an angel, banished from heaven. And all he wanted was a soul. And now he has mine.


Got any opinions? Advice for the author? Just want to have your say? Leave a comment.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s