AND WELCOME TO THE NEW WARINGB12! (Que applause, cheers, whistles and general positive noises)


Ok, basically, we went away from a month (Hopefully no one died or had sme sudden realisation that the blog was all false and never wants to return. No? ok, so far so good) to redevelope. I know it’s not looking perfect, we’re still working out the little quirks but we’re getting there.


So, what do I mean by NEW? I mean new ideas, new plot lines, new twists, new moments, new creations and new brains. More for you, more for us more for everyone. DON”T PANIC! We’re not getting rid of the old stuff. We still have the mute french kid posts (you wanna try and get rid of them!), and we’ve still got That Talky Laughy Random Fing, continuing right from where it left off. But we want this blog to be more interactive, and only YOU can help us do that. Head down to our FB page to find out more stuff.


Right, onto the writing…


Notice to readers

Dear readers, both faithful revisiters and new ,

Thank you for visiting the waringb1 blog. It may not seem like a big deal, but to the waringb12 team, your views mean a lot. Thank you. We hope waringb12 can continue to thrive and expand, not only as a writing blog but as a community of readers and writers, but this can only happen with your help. As readers, you have the power to build this blog in a way our small team does not, and the success of waringb12 is down to you. Tell everyone. Your workmates, your class mates, friends, family, local library, family butcher… Anyone and everyone who may be interested in reading or helping  a young writer. You have the power to make this happen. Reading this blog isn’t about how many hits any more. Waringb12 is something bigger than that.

Sadly, due main ly to administration work and a busy few weeks for our team, there will be no posts through the month of September, but waringb12 will be right back, October 4th, with all knew work, the continuation of That Talky Laughy Random Fing and more from the mute french kid, and hopefully you’ll be back too.

Untill then, thankyou and goodnight.

Bethonie Waring, on behalf on the waringb12 team.

To keep up to date with changes whilst we are away, visit our facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Waringb12/296184610430438?ref=ts

That Talky Laughy Random Fing Episode 8

To read That Talky Laughy Random Fing from the beginning, click here.

To read the last episode, click here.

THE STORY SO FAR: Howard Richy falls in love with the… Erm… fit Linda Maizen. James Mattinson has a throat condition, possibly caused by moaning too much, but… Linda turns out to be a cow and she storms out. James lets slip about Friday’s upcoming court case with Lee Martin. The ever so brilliant Adam Witz is on his way home, which is vital to Friday’s plan. Howard let’s slip about James’ marriage to Cathy Soccorso.

     Hi, Cathy. It’s Friday.
               Friday? Erm… I’m not actually supposed to be talking to you.
     Yeah, but you are.
               Friday… look…
     Cathy, I’m guessing your dad heard about James then.
               Heard? Friday, that guy annpunced it on live television. It’s all over the news.
     Yeah, that wasn’t James’ fault. A lots going on at the moment. And Howard’s a nightmare as it is.
               How did he even find out?
     I dunno. Howard has his ways. Cathy is your dad there?
               Friday, I don’t think…
     Oh, come on Cathy. I can’t make it any worse.
               Well, you can.
     Please, Cathy. I promise I will do my amazing bestest to be amazing.
               Fine, Friday but be carefull…
     I will

Friday glanced up at James and grinned. James smiled feebly back.

     Hello, Mr Soccorso.
               Who is this?
     My name’s Friday Eiffle. I’m a friend of Cathy’s. I was at the wedding. I asked where you were but there was no answer.
               Friday Eiffle? How do you know Cathy?
     Research. I’m a writer. Cathy helped me wirg one of my novels.
               Wait, aren’t you a friend of that Mattinson.
     Through Cathy, yeah.
               Why have I never heard of you before?
     You probably have, you just don’t remember. Friday’s not one of those names you remember.
               Actually, I think it’s exactly one of those name’s I’d remember.
     I suppose. I’ve never really thought of it like that.
               Didn’t you ever realise it’s one of the most strange names in the world.
     Well, no. My parent’s wern’t very good with names. There was always a reason the name they picked was bad.
               Erm, Friday?
     Do you want to know what was weird about Cathy?
               What’s weird about my Cathy?
     Not your Cathy. About the name Cathy.
               Oh, well, actually…
     It means pure and it comes from Greece. But anyway, Cathy was my grandma’s cat’s name.
     And it would be weird now, wouldn’t it?
     Because my name would be Cathy and your daughter’s name would be Cathy too. We’d be having a conversation about the name Cathy and then we’d start talking about Cathy and we wouldn’t know where one conversation ended and the other began, would we?
               Well, that would be a bit confussing.
     Yeah, does Cathy like the name?
               Yeah, I suppose.
     Do you know what the name Freddy means?
               No, what does it mean?
     Don’t know. I know what the name James means though.
               Go on then.
     It means Supplanter.
     Supplanter. That means someone who illegally takes the land from someone else.
     That’s not very good, is it? I suppose it could meanhim taking Cathy from you.
               It could.
     Well, it depends how many times he wrongfully takes something. Because if its only once then it’s not Cathy because he already stole the music from Adam. He’s my other friend. He was in jail in some country no one’s heard of, but coming back soon.
     And he can’t have stolen Cathy, anyway, can he?
               Why not?
     Because they’ve been married for, like, two months now and Cathy’s still living with you and she’s not run off with James.
               I suppose.
               Is James with you now?
     Now, he ran off when I told you what supplanter means. I think he’s gone to be sick. He’s scared of you. He thinks you’re going to kill him.
               He should be so lucky. No, Friday, I’d like to meet him.
     That would be a good idea.
               Can I make an agreement with you?
               Tommorow, at half four, in Avon Cue, you know the place?
     Yeah. Am you paying or am I? It’s expensive.
               I’ll pay, don’t worry. I’ll bring Cathy. You bring James. I’ll bring no on else. Ok?
     Yeah, that’s cool.
               Friday… What’s your second name?
               Ok, Friday Eiffle. Tommorow at half four. Don’t be late.

Friday hung up the phone and smiled, satisfied with her work. Now there was only one other person she needed to sort out.

That Talky Laughy Random Fing Episode 7

To read That Talky Laughy Random Fing from the beginning, click here.

To read the last episode, click here.

THE STORY SO FAR: Howard Richy falls in love with the… Erm… fit Linda Maizen. James Mattinson has a throat condition, possibly caused by moaning too much, but… Linda turns out to be a cow and she storms out. James lets slip about Friday’s upcoming court case with Lee Martin and she also storms out, so James kindly takes her to the chip shop. The ever so brilliant Adam Witz is on his way home, which is vital to Friday’s plan…

That’s Today is a lunchtime TV show run on the same channel as That Talky Laughy Random Fing. It discusses topics of the day, the newspapers and invites celebraties on to talk about their latest work.
James was invited on, mainly because there was no one else. His slot was prime time, right after the woman who’s boobs wouldn’t stop growing and righ before the viewer competition winner was announced.

LILAC: And now we go to our celebrity guest, it’s Mr James Mattinson!
DOMINIC: Good afternoon, James.
JAMES: Hello.
LILAC: Do legends like yourself normally say hello?
DOMINIC: Ignore her. She’s a bit star struck.
LILAC: Too right. You’re absolutly amazing, although Dom don’t think so.
DOMINIC: I mean, you do everything, don’t you? Music, film, TV. That’s a bit arragent, ain’t it?
LILAC: And real life drama too!
DOMINIC: Yeah, you could have done it a bit more tastefully than letting Howard Richy announce it on TV.
LILAC: You made a lot of young girls sad last night, James.
DOMINIC: At least this one anyway.
LILAC: Cathy Soccorso is one lucky girl. Well, I suppose it’s Cathy Mattinson now, isn’t it?
DOMINIC: I dunno. I think I’d take Soccorso if I were you, mate. I would want to be in your shoes. For any viewers who don’t know, Cathy is the daughter of Freddy Soccorso, that gangster bloke.
LILAC: Ex, Dom, remember. We don’t want any trouble with Mr Soccorso.
DOMINIC: Well, he’s Mr Soccorso now.
DOMINIC: James. And, no offence, mate, but you don’t scare me.
LILAC: Didn’t she take your name?
JAMES: I’m sorry. What, exactly, are you talking about?
LILAC: Well, you and Cathy! Howard announced that you were married on the show last night.
DOMINIC: You did a good job keeping that one quiet, didn’t you? Although, I suppose Freddy Soccorso helped, didn’t he? I mean, he don’t want any paparatzi, does he?
LILAC: That must have been scary, James. When exactly did you find out Freddy Soccorso was her dad.
DOMINIC: Scary? Poor man looks like he’s still mortified. Guessing you had all the usual threats, then?
LILAC: Worse. I’m guessing there’s no chance of an affair then?
DOMINIC: Are you ok?
LILAC: James?
JAMES: I’m… I’m fine.
DOMINIC: So, is there any chance of a family in the future?
JAMES: Not right away.
LILAC: But if you did, would little Friday be a god parent?
JAMES: Well, it would be a possibility.
LILAC: And Adam?
JAMES: No, not Adam.
DOMINIC: How is Friday!
JAMES: She’s amazing. She’s doing… She’s doing great.
LILAC: Is it true you have a new movie coming out?
JAMES: That’s kind of true. It’s Friday’s new project. I think she said it was an experiment. She never told us the findings of it, though. Some bits were scripted, but sometimes there was sn image or an object to centre the scene around.
DOMINIC: So who’s in it?
JAMES: Well, there’s me, and Friday forced Adam into it, too. And then there’s some people who have aready worked with Friday like Robert Cings and Soapy Summers.
LILAC: Well, there you go. A glimpse into the future.
DOMINIC: Ok, we’re going to announce the winner of this month’s competition for, wait for it, fifty thousand pounds!
LILAC: Would you mind drawing the name, James?
JAMES: I suppose I must… ok, here we go. Oh God, I’m not gonna be able to pronounce this now. Ok, it’s Will – I’m so sorry – Carra… Corra… Kayrronico from London. Will Kayrronico from London

“James!” Friday hissed from behind the cameras as soon as they cut to adverts, “James, guess what!”
“Howard told the world about Cathy last night!” James cried, scurrying over, “I think I’m gonna be sick.”
Friday stared at James, unable to speak. He was a dead man walking, and there was nothing he could do about it.
“Ok, ok,” Friday said eventually, “I’m going to phone Cathy, ok? You just stay hete. I’m going to sort it, ok, James?”
James managed to nod, coughed a few times, then sat down.
“Howard’s got a lot of answering to do,” Friday mumbled, “I’m just hoping he hasn’t said anything else.”

That Talky Laughy Random Fing Episode 6

To read That Talky Laughy Random Fing from the beginning, click here.

To read the last episode, click here.

THE STORY SO FAR: Howard Richy falls in love with the… Erm… fit Linda Maizen. James Mattinson has a throat condition, possibly caused by moaning too much, but… Linda turns out to be a cow and she storms out. James lets slip about Friday’s upcoming court case with Lee Martin and she also storms out, so James kindly takes her to the chip shop…

It hit me as soon as I opened the door. His annoying, arrogent, cocky tones could not be mistaken as anything else. I almost smiled. Smiled! Can you believe it! I couldn’t deny he was funny, though. If I did then I was admitting I’d wasted a year of my life on the audio-high that was Lee Martin, which was true.
James hadn’t noticed and was already talking to Mr Kay, the owner, about the week. I tried to distract myself. There was a TV on the wall playing football reruns. I tried to work out what the teams were. Red. That was United. Or Liverpool? Yellow. Who played in yellow?
I couldn’t push the sound of his voice out of my head. The radio was on the counter. I could easily switch it off.
Mr Kay was looking at me now, talking to me, but I couldn’t hear him over Mr Martin. It wasn’t loud, but his voice echoed in my head.
I had to say something.
“Five awards.” I said, forcing a grin.
The radio show jingle came on and James finally heard it.
“Oh, Friday, I didn’t know.” he said.
I was ok, now. The adverts were on and I knew from hours of concentrated listening that they would be on for a while.
“It’s fine,” I insisted, “Good evening, Mr Kay.”
“Good evening, Friday,” Mr Kay said slowly, “Are you ok?”
“Couldn’t be better.” I smiled, “How’s Will?”
“He’s great,” Mr Kay said, nodding towards the radio, “Got his diploma in radio engineering, but Lee’s keeping him in his place.”
I smiled. It wasn’t forced. “I bet he is.”
Will, Mr Kay’s son and Mr Martin’s co-host was forever under Mr Martin’s torment. What was I supposed to do? Claim I hadn’t enjoyed it? I wouldn’t lie.
“Anyway, usual, please.” James said quickly, “We’re not actually supposed to be here. The show’s on air now.”
“But we needed chips.” I added.
Mr Kay grinned and winked at me. I laughed.


Adam Witz (@adam81witz) has sent you a direct message on Twitter?
“Guess what! I’m back home 11 tommorow night! That’s if the plane isn’t delayed, or taken over by terrorists. Knowing my luck it will be!”

@FridayEiffle: Really? Don’t joke about those things.
@adam81witz: I wasn’t. These things always happen to me. Hey, don’t tell anyone. I don’t want any press.
@FridayEiffle: Like you get press anyway. Can I tell James?
@adam81witz: Believe me. The press is gonna want this story. Yeah, you can tell Mattinson. But make him promise not to tell anyone.
@FridayEiffle: I need to talk to you when you get back. So don’t go picking any fights with terrorists, ok?

That Talky Laughy Random Fing Episode 5

To read That Talky Laughy Random Fing from the beginning, click here.

To read the last episode, click here.

THE STORY SO FAR: Howard Richy falls in love with the… Erm… fit Linda Maizen. James Mattinson has a throat condition, possibly caused by moaning too much, but… Linda turns out to be a cow and she storms out. James lets slip about Friday’s upcoming court case with Lee Martin and she also storms out.

Chapter One

“Friday! Friday, wait!”
The teenager was fast. She never ran, at least not indoors, but her marching was just as fast and James had to jog to keep up. She didn’t slow down and James only caught her in the lift when she finally stopped. Not looking at him, Friday stabbed the button for the underground car park and waited in silence for the doors to close.
“Look, Friday, don’t worry,” James said, “Madison won’t tell anyone. She’s the one who I would trust my life with, other than you.”
“It’s not that you told Madison,” Friday snapped, “And it’s not that you almost started a fight on live television. It’s the fact you seem insistant on causing more issues when I already have enough with Mr Martin and Adam and your Cathy.”
“I don’t mean to, Friday,” James began, but before he could even try to explain, the lift opened and Friday marched out. Before she could reach James’ car in the far corner, he unlocked it with the key fob, allowing her into the front seat.
“You have to teach me to drive when I get my learner’s permit.” she said.
“And not until. Look, Friday. I’m sorry about you and Cathy. I know you don’t like it being a secret but…”
“Cathy’s dad would kill you, I know.” Friday said, “Can you just drive? I need to clear my head. They can do the show without us.”
Carefully, James pulled out of the carpark. Having worked with her since she was thirteen, James knew exactly where Friday wanted to go. He’d never thought to ask why she always went to the same chip shop. Now didn’t really seem to be the time.
“It’s not just your fault, James,” she said after a while of sitting in silence, “I do know that.”
“I’m going to help, Friday,” James insisted, “I promise.”
“I know, James. Thanks, but…”
But. It was Adam. They were a treo, although Adam hated James’ guts and James wasn’t too fond of him either. The man was a lunatic with no sense of self control, but he supported Friday and she liked him.
James stopped at a red light and Friday groaned.
“If I wasn’t such an innocent, law abiding person, I’d tell you to just go right now.” she admitted.
James grinned. “You mean, if you weren’t toeing the line because of Martin?”
“Well, we’re – what? – five yards away.”
“I wouldn’t say five yards.”
“And this red light has been on for half an hour.”
“Half an hour, Friday?”
“Look, I can see the shop.”
James’ face fell. On the passanger side, a car pulled up. The windows were tinted glass but the driver’s window was rolled down in the warm summer night. A fat, bauld, potato shaped head was perched on the driver’s stubby neck. He was focused on the light. James preyed he didn’t turn his head.
“What?” Friday asked, spinning around to look, but James grabbed her before she could see.
“He works for Cathy’s dad.” James whispered.
The lights turned green before potato man turned around and he rolled on while James turned into the chip shop.
“What’s he doing here?” Friday asked.
“Don’t know.” James said, stuck to hus seat. “Don’t like it.”
Friday opened the door and immediatly the smell of chips distracted her from all else.

Letters from Davey — Two —

Your right. I will call you niave. I shouldn’t even be replying to you. Not really. But you’re the only person I can talk to who isn’t involved.
You shouldn’t trust me. You really shouldn’t. You don’t know me and, if I were you, I wouldn’t want to. It’s nice that you do and everything and it’s really sweet that you want me to trust you but I can’t.
Your twelve? That’s really young. What are you doing writing about what you do? Where do you get your ideas from?
I love music too. I was at university taking music when I did what I did. Never give up on your dream. Never. I love the steel pan. They always sound so happy. Did you know they’re from the Carrabien? When you play them in the sun they’re so hot you can burn yourself. The drumming sounds like it’s samba. Have you ever heard it at the Brazillian carnivals? It sounds amazing.
Crime isn’t cool, Bethonie. It really isn’t. Going into crime was the worst mistake I ever made in my life. It hurts people, even those so called victimless crimes. Please don’t tell me you’re involved in crime. Never do it. Don’t succum to peer pressure or anything like that. Please.
I probably did underestimate you a little. You do seem to know about friendship and you know about how important it is.
You have a wise head on your shoulders. What you said about ignoring the problem is true. The thing is, if you’re going to try and solve a problem then you need to be listened to. I wasn’t listened to. Speaking to politicians doesn’t work, Bethonie.
You’re so clever, but so niave at the same time. You’re innocent and I like that. Don’t change.

Yours sincerly,
Davey Hertz